Fake Hockey News Wants You!

The Fake Hockey News is looking for writers. You don’t have to be a good writer, you just have to say outrageous things and watch hockey enough to know you couldn’t play. No, you know what scratch that we want exactly one guy that thinks he could play in the NHL. Those guys are the fuckin worst. Everyone knows one. Oh wow you scored 150 goals in timbits? Things for sure would have kept going that way had you just stuck with it.

Anyways. Send a funny article to us at Fakehockeynews@gmail.com and get shit done.

 

 

 

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One thought on “Fake Hockey News Wants You!

  1. Charlie McAvoy has just been traded to the KHL for two cases of Beluga Vodka. After a frustrating off-season with no end in sight for new contract negotiations, Don Sweeney decided to part ties with the defenceman. Although McAvoy had a good season despite yet another injury, Sweeney said ” in preparation for yet another disappointing season, we plan to make 2020 a little easier on all of us with a few cases of vodka. (laughter) and at least we got the good stuff.”

    It can be said that Bruins fans are not too happy about this trade. With the poor decision in 2016 to pick “old man” Backes, and the recent facial injury to Zdeno Chara, many fans are expected to flee TD Gardens in droves in preparation of the future onslaught to come.

    As for McAvoy, he is expected to do very well in the KHL. With the recent loss of Andrei Markov to the league, McAvoy will fit in just beautifully. And his contract is only one year. He has already having talks with Jeff Gorton of the New Your Ranger to return home for the 2021 season.

    As for current Boston fans, it’s safe to say that it’s time to jump ship if you haven’t already. Your team colors are piss yellow and crap brown, you should have left years ago. So, join McAvoy and bottoms up to a bottle of Beluga.

    Liked by 1 person

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