Phil Kessel On Trade Rumors “Everybody wants me”

Phil Kessel’s name has once again come up in trade rumours. When asked to comment on the issue Phil cleared his nose and spit on the floor before announcing

“Everybody! Listen up! Now I’m only going to say this once alright! There’s been some talk about the Phil getting dealt again okay, yes? we’ve all heard? Now I want to assure you I’m not going anywhere. Old Jim’s phone has been ringing off the hook for me because I’m a beast ya know. This is no different than the last couple of years. I’ve been a beast here just like I was a beast in TwoRonToe and in Boston. Nobody is trading me for anything less than 10 firsts (rounders) and a million billion dollars. I deserve at least of those two trophies Sid got. This team has done nothing but win since I got here. Of course every team in the league is calling! piss off trade rumours. I run the show.”

Phil went on to say” yeah everybody wants me. It’s not surprising. I’m sick. ”

Phill the thrill has 33 points in 27 games so far this season. Last year he scored a career-high 92 regular season points. In his 3 full seasons in Pittsburgh Kessel has racked up 54 points in 61 playoff contests.

Sid and Malkin when asked to comment had this to say

Sid: “yeah Phil’s the best player in the league”

Geno: “Yeah Phill has heart of a lion.”

Sid: “I’ve modelled my game on and off the ice after Magic Phil”

Geno: “Me too hot dogs, chel, and tinder”

Sid: “No doubt, hotdogs, chel and tinder”Sandra-Pereira-Phil-Kessel


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